On my way back from Amsterdam *it was pretty late really* I decided to put on some accompanying musics. It was not my intention to choose this song, but what this song says is almost close to what I felt a.t.m.
I read a book titled
I, then, think about someone which keep lingering around my head. (S)he - this is what I hate in english. You are unable to mention somebody with "it" for a pronoun, either "he" or "she" - is actually the same person as I had mention earlier post. I have to say that I cannot just disregard (s)he. Somewhere deep in my heart I keep placing a little prayer and hope on (s)he. Funny isn't it? Though with all the resentment against (s)he, it seems that my feminist heart starting to work. I used to pray and ask God
"Lord, if it is possible, could you please take this "burden" away. The person may not even "feel" anything anyway. Why should I bother? "
but my pastor teach us this way:
"When your heart is pondering and your mind is thinking about somebody, bring it to a prayer"
It would probably not bring any result instantly, but the fact that you actually have heart for this person is actually really great - in fact you actually already love somebody unconditionally. Isn't it cool?!? You are unconciously giving an unconditional love.
Frankly, my tears drops everytime I think about this... I dare not say I am a holy and superlative. Yet, I am a passionate person who definitely wanted to living extraordinary days with just an ordinary deeds. Is it that hard?
Oh btw, I am thinking about having my hair cut, but not sure what sort of style. Besides, having it cut short might not be a good idea as the weather is really does not look like a summer. Gosh... I miss my first couple of year in here...
PS: Miss you badly... I wish I had the courage :)
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