Two Days to Christmas

Right... here I am early morning *well, it's 1.10 AM - count it as morning ok* doing some creative works of making 'thank you' card for Matthew. Fun, but since I have not worked on some creative works again since I arrived in NL, it is tiring - but still fun!!!

So, what have I done for today? Hahaha.. guess what, I am going out again and again... go shopping - well to be exact, going out with my friend, accompanying him to buy some christmas gift for his girlfriend, parents, bro and sist. Hmm.. honestly, it is kinda hard to find a gift for somebody... *now I admit it* well, yeah... I mean it is human sense (and will of course) to gift something best to their loved one. You either want to give something they like or want. Yet, sometimes we don't really know what they want (at the moment - can you read sb mind???) or maybe know as well, but we can not afford it. * damn!*

Other things that makes your heat *cenut-cenut* - eng: dizzy?!? - is when you bought something that you think they gonna love it, but eventually he/ she did not. *imagine the feeling, I will definitely annoyed!!!* So, learning from the experience, we do more carefull to select a present. That is why sometimes finding present is such a burden task!

I , myself, was not intended to buy anything... but when I was wandering around ZARA, I found this little mini skirt **mind me, the size is 36 (EUR)** I was staring on it for quite a while *holding it as well actually :P* and thinking if it fits me. no more than 3 seconds, i decided to try it on together with other same colours trousers.
** what a surprise, it fits! **
WOW!!! Since when did I get slim??? Happy, of course... but then my mind start thinking on "hmm... is it too short etc?" I finally call Mirna as I definitely have no idea what to do... buy or let it go... but then when I looked back to my fashion history, I have no mini skirt people!!! I feel bad as I am a definitely girl - woman eventually - but have no skirt!!! ***Gees***

So I got the skirt, and keet (kept) the receipt in the case when I want to return the goods. Out from Zara, we went to Peek & Cloppenburg - more choices for him but seems that he no more in the mood to find one... so we went to moccamore (dunno if it's right spelling) and get some coffee. Talk a bit... and finally we went to Media Markt *Oh... I love this store* and look here and there... and finally end up our shopping day there... he want back to his parking lot, and naturally I head back to home...but hahahha :) shopping by your own is the greatest time ever... No one staring at you - waiting or just accompanying, no need to bother if somebody get bored because of your silly act - maybe, and the most of all time is all yours...

I went to HEMA, and buy some colourfull paper and headback home....

My analysis of the day, I am happy to see people's face today... they seems happy for the christmas is coming of course, but the feeling of missing home badly is really killing me... yeah.. christmas use to be the only occasion where we all meet (my aunt comes home to Surabaya), some of us meeting friends from abroad, or just being in the home where your parents are, is really the best things of all...

Must admit, I miss home badly... though in a few days Germany would be the holiday destination... Hopefully, christmas holiday brings many happiness and courage to finish my master asap....

So people,... this is my story for now.. I kinda tired and tomorrow have to go to check my eyes!!!
Hope you all have a nice merry christmas wherever you are....

PaQi

Obedience

I know that some of you maybe wondering why I would bring this topic out of surface. Well, first, this is my challange throughout the week and most probably going to be on the next couple of weeks and the coming year.

*eventhough the new years resolution was not ready yet*

I might not mention it before how I was 'sent back' to Holland. Hmm, maybe worth to spill out the story a little bit.

Year 2006 is the year where my life transformed to a responsible situation. I learned to survive, to lean on God and to understand about truth. Before I graduated from my bachelor, on the way of finishing my thesis and internship, I prayed to God and ask for his 'favour' in my life... I asked for the chance of getting me near and feel his love more than before - must say that I was stuck in the same level for these years. I was given the chance and here I am in Rotterdam, studying my graduates degree.

The only thing that makes this happens I believe is because my reason to be obedient. That's my only prayer to Him. I received so many blessings, awesome experiences and meeting so many blesses people. I am happy and the very best of all is my family, dad & mom as well as my brother, living healthy and happy. This is the best present God has given me for this year. Yet, it does not mean that I did not reach the lowest point. Breaking up with somebody I love and cherish is hurt, but the two of us know that this was the best way... We do care about each other and therefore would not like to hurt one another. We seperate in a good way and we do keep in touch and help each other.

Few days ago, Lord allows me to face a new test. The test where your obedience was questioned. I know that I can easily fall to the world by just following my flesh, but the heart and mind knocking the obedience. I want what it was offered, but I don't know if this is good things to do. I dreamt about it.... but I don't want to be dragged from the right track.

My obedience was questioned. Really....
It is really simple task, I want it... yet my heart and mind was yearning for obedience.
Lord, the heart of obedience that is what I am asking for....

Dinner was a quality time for me... especially with the 314 sister's...
They do encourage me to obey the Lord for he is counting your obedience and will reward it... I love the way they continue their life... a living obedience person... that is the only thing I have always wanted to learn.

*thank you for your support sists*

Lord, the only one who mighty and fulfilling one...
I pray for the obedience... please keep me in your love... the unfailing love ever...
I will never forget the 'first love' where you hold me tight and forgave me....
You are more than anything to me

Love you so much

Blessed - as always!

I know that I supposed to study... but this excitement cannot wait till tomorrow!

Look at what I have got from my convivial, blessed, and fulfilled by Our forever God, JC! Yes, a CD - a True Worshippers (TW) newest and fully blessed CD "Captivated".

I am so happy and really being blessed by this. I am happy that it signed by one of the worshipper, Sidney Mohede - though I am hoping all of the worshippers can sign it.


I guess all of you know who is TW and Sidney is. Well, just fyi, I do like Sidney's project on Surrender. This album is awesome, I am trully blessed by the song and the worshipping 'atmosphere' brought by him .

To my housemate, Chooke!!!
You rock dude!!! I will not forget your 'hardwork' :) - I am so happy, till dunno how to continue my study. Really!

I am trully captivated by You my Lord

First day of December the 2006

Point to ponder:

• Exam preparation - coming next week and the week after
  
• Holiday season plans - the week after the exam last
  
• A month-to-go for self assessment
• and A month-to-go on constructing next year resolutions and goals

About to do:

• Study
• Wash my huge pile of clothes
• Tidy (read: clean up) my room
  

Story to tell:

• when my God defends me in my difficulties or sorrow

I actually just realised when one of my besties text me and said: I am entering the first day of December. "I love X'mas" he said.

We just finished our research proposal; and thus, I was not in-focus
takes 5 second to think

I then remembered that it was the last day of November of 2006 - I was about to grumble, why he was so happy, but i discontinue my irritated side due to exam preparation.
Like I have mentioned before I am in the mission (and will be me vision of life too) on being obedience to my Savior and Redeemer. I won't comment on whoever your "God" is or whatever your "religion" is, but despite those differences, it is a matter of what you believe. I believe that when it is time, then you will know what I am talking about - as you are chosen to be His! (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

In my "new journey" in finding the truth about His mighty God, I really see that He enrich me every day. He works in many aspects of me using any methods. Most of the time, he answer my curiosity or even when I "have a fling" in my mind about the ideal world according to me.
Today through The Our Daily Bread, I got reminded of many things:

During my exam prep, I always grumble to God, complaining why should I do the exam bla bla bla... which at the end it can lead to "I should have just go back not continue my study" and another bla bla bla... (see, it is negative!!! Never ever enjoy such attitude)
Then, He answers me that basically everything has its own timing. There is a time where you can sit, playing around, and enjoying your life etc, but there is the time to workhard - and this is the time. Besides, to be in the next level, somebody has to be tested to prove his/her capability.

Thank you Lord

Other thought that came to me was about fairness. Why should there be any third world country? I don't get it. When I see the stories and all the documentation of this people, I always ask why. Yet, again he answers me through the reading of the bible.
Here Ecclesiastes 3: 17 states: "God is going to judge the righteous and the evil alike, because everything, every action, will happen at its own set time"

I believe in you Lord

Holiday is also a main issue for me. It cost me a bomb if I follow my greediness. I think I will just follow what my pocket says.

My first personal assessment and new years resolution also part of my to do list this year end. I have never made it before, but I think it worth to be done - at least I can see if I am resulting any value-added-life this year.

about to do list:
Here is the picture why I mention that as my goal after the exam!!!






Pardon me, I am a clean and tidy girl when there is no exam or deadline...
[No time to wash the laundry lah... come and help, can? - with the singaporean accent :) ]






This one is the isle between my bed and my little board.
Yes, everything is on the floor. Actually, this is really convinient you know... why? When you realise that you don't have time to even get to your desk, you can just grab the book in that isle! It must be the book that you are supposed to read for the next exam. Really convinient heh :P ??


[My mom would kill me if she ever see this in her room]

So, after all, one more good news. Remember my previous assignment that was late submitted, it got accepted for - who know - whatever the reason is, but one reason is sure. He defends me in this situation. Just think, would anyone accept your assignment if it was submitted 10 hours after the set deadline? I cannot thank more to Him.

I hope you guys have a happy day. I am going to make myself happy so it will reflects on my coming exam :P

Please pray for your surrounding. Give them your hands, they need you.

God bless!

Pictures

For ages, I have not posted any pictures *wink*

Well, though I don't have any fans to read the blog *who cares anyway :P*, here is some pictures to make myself happy and to let my family "touch" by miss busy...

Here is when a miss busy feels pretty - tough I am in the middle of exam preps.


Notice: the lucky duck - actually the blue duck. I was a gift from my mom.



Most of my friend is busy with the new serries of the ugly betty - the american version I should say. I have not got any time to check it out, but it seems funny. So, what I decide to post "My own ugly betty"

here is the ugly betty "my version" :)

Looking at myself with the specs really funny. Yet, I am happy that I can be that ugly.

Let's see what else do I have...


Thinking or what?!?













Well, I think that's all for now.. I need to study... Here is the picture that I was about to send to my mom via mms, but lousy t-mobile (or was it my 6233)



all the courtesy to my 6233, thanks for taking my picture quite ok lah.. hehehe:)

Have a nice day everyone.. hope you don't get bored...

Amazing

Well, nothing really special about today, but the amazing part was yesterday.

Yesterday, we were supposed to submit our assignment at 2.00 hours. I was totallu dying and was about to 'eat' anyone who ever try to disturb my rest. The day before, around 23.00 (if I am not mistaken), Miki called and asked about the assignment - don't remember what. I was pretty 'flying' in the sense of sleeping.. so, I answered everything in rush. BUT, I did mention that please help me to submit my assignment. (click - phone off)

Yesterday morning, Yo me levanto at 06.00 and found my mobile with one misscall - it was Miki at 2.07. I quickly thought maybe he wanted to tell me that everything was alright - yet he did not bother calling me if something had not happened, I supposed. So I continued reading, studying. eating and having my quality time with God. The verse I read was about guarding your mouth. To be exact, the title was: The Power of What You Say.
The verse use to reminds us is

"If you want a happy, good life,
keep control of your tongue,
and guard your lips from telling lies."
(1 Peter 3:10)

Today's word from my fave preecher (Joel Osteen and wife) is:

The Bible teaches to choose your words wisely. In fact, God's Word says life and death are in the power of the tongue. That's why you need to be very careful about what you say each day. Your words can either be a positive and encouraging influence, or a discouraging one. It may be easier to grumble and become negative when things aren't going your way, but God calls you to speak words that strengthen and lift others up. When you do that, you will be blessed as well. Today, experience a new sense of joy by speaking positive words of faith and victory over your life and those around you.

I, then, was wondering that
what am I going to say today?!? Am I going to scold somebody?!? I don't think that I would be easily get angry - except to those I knew well...

Teng...teng...teng... teng... until 12 times - means 12.00 noon
I was on the way to the tram halte and thought that it's time to ask Miki.
(I guess by this time you can guess what has happening)

My assignment was not submitted. Why? He did not know (or realise) to do so, in which I had mentioned it for about 3 times.

I was so pissed off!!!
I was so angry!!!
I was about to slap or kick sb!!!

Yet, I chose to put down the phone and went back home to send the assignment via email - to date I dunno if they accept (still) my late submission. The only words come out from my mouth was 'keterlaluan' - which literaly means: echt (Dutch) - not sure what was in English. Maybe 'excessive' or to be exact is unacceptable.

I went to school with two option.

1. Ruin my day
2. Laugh about it

I chose the second one
and
I could not thank more to Him

I forgave Miki before he said sorry... and I am laughing about it. Besides, from those three assignementsI have made two already. So, maybe this time, some other people could make use of this opportunity.

See how amazing scripture is. He knows way before you know what going to happen.

The funny thing my friend says (text):
"that's good. I have never seen your reaction when you were upset, but considering your character (or type of people) you could be very scary. Congratulation! Learn from your mistake (sort of)" ~translated from Indonesian~

I win. I conquer the battle with Him. I am glad.

~Miki feels guilty and buys me dinner - I have to admit he is smart, my weakness is in food~

Lesson to learn:
You choose your day... ruin it or laugh it... yet it's your life that you are going to ruin or spice up.

11°C bright and sunny

Buenos Días everyone

Honestly, I haven't got any plan what to write. Yet, it seems that today is the day when a new entry must be in the blog-chart. Heuheuheue :)

My plan for today is to study and study again, I hope I will not waste that much time again... well, I actually did not considered it as wasting time as I am enriching myself with the wisdom of God. I did not realise that God has been great and fulfilling my need everyday. Yesterday, the time which I spent for worrying my future, I realised that He has given me much more than I had expected. Give me instances? Right, here they are....

I have always worried that I will not find any job, that I will not be able (sort of) repay back my parent 'investment', that I will just waste it like that when I am starting my family - you know when a woman get married and just abandon her degree like that.

Well, surely if I have reached this stage so far, there is no way to turn back as this is what I want - though initially I was not sure about it

Just imagine that your parent have invested- say a price of a house and a nice car and for not being so selfish instead - and you might not be able to repay back in the next two years (unless you win a lottery), what will be in your mind? I know that my parent often says that it is not a loan, it is not debt - look how amazing parent is! Yet, I cannot help it when I think the investment they made! It is HUGE amount!!! This is why I and many of us (who know how much their parent pay and try -very hard- to hold their own needs) starts worrying. The 'what if' question always haunt me.

But yesterday... I saw many opportunity, found many loves surrounding me, and realised how great is our God. I have my family surrounding and supporting me which I am sure I will not die or 'stranded' somewhere without having any decent job. I just realised that my worries has overcome my mighty God. The quotes from Joel Osteen is so true:

Do not magnify your problem, but magnify your God!

You see... it is about magnifying the problem that I cannot see the way He prepared (yes, already!!!) I am just so thankful that holy spirit show me how great my Lord is... It is a new experience for me... also, one other quotes from my RBC online devotion The Our Daily Bread
is:

Study the bible to be wise; belive it to be safe; practice it to be holy

Definitely cool! ~ makes me wondering what I am doing this years ~ So, really, it is an awesome day for me... especially my title shows you the weather of today! Yup, Rotterdam in a nice mood... everything so bright and sweet to me... isn't it incredible that weather can give you so much influence?!? (i know it has been researched before, just don't get it why?)

I guess I better starts my study now... So many chapters to go... Oh one nice verse for you:

Philipians 4: 13
I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me

Ciao

Bible is the best book - ever!!!

FYI, I am Christian and very proud of it...

Often I heard that Bible is sb's fave book. I know the facts that bible is:

• the best seller book of any best seller book in this world
• the most translated book in this world
• and that every family, at least in UK, will not feeling 'complete' in their home library w/o having one

However, until 10 minutes ago, I did not realise that Bible is that AWESOME!!!

Last night, I watched and listened to the free-watch video of Joel Osteen preeching. For you who don't know who he is, check out www.joelosteen.com - He is the Senior Pastor in Lakewood Church, Houston, Texas. Well, to have more details just check out the web provided.
This time the theme is Let God be Involved in Every Area of Life. I will not spoil the good things in his preaching - God's mighty words - so, really check it out!!! The important thing I learn is adopt a new lifestyle:

Acknowledge God (constantly)

About the past 10 minutes (I was actually on the toilet "uploading"), I was reading an inspirational book by Alice Grey which is already translated into Indonesian. One of those many story that struck me is the chapter where a bible verse was quoted. The verse is taken from the book of Philippians, and it is as follow:

Philippians 4:13
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength
(New International Version)

At the moment, I am actually facing the day where I cannot see my self as God's army, because I cannot do anything good or best. It starts with my exam period which is going to come in December, and I see that I have so much things to do beforehand. I am so scared, so weak, unconfident that I can pass all of my exam - it sounds like I lose my battle already without giving any fights?!? (I hate this situation) - yet, at the same time, I have to encourage myself, support myself that I am not going to let my burden dissapoint and ruin my life, but instead I will face it with the power and presence of God. To give you simple example, I had my study planned three days ago and planned to finish reading some chapter today. In reality, I cannot finish it because I fall a sleep (I dunno why I am so tired). This hurts me as I cannot fulfil my plan.

Nevertheless, the verse above has give me new strength from God. If you ask me how, here is the answer. I believe that Jesus is my lord and that He is the way, the truth and the life. He promised me that I can do everything through Him as he is the one who gives me strength. Also, his promise never fails. Isn't awesome?

Joel in his preaching reminds me that Nothing is too powerfull to hold us back or even limiting our God!!! so apart of Him, we can do nothing. [I am the living testimony of Him!!! - ask me! =)]

So, for you all who is in the same situation as me, don't give up. Here, I am facing the same thing as you, yet I choose not to give up but cast it all to God. I am living by His grace and I am living for His grace. In other words, I am going to life as what He has planned for me and I am doing my best to get it.

Ora et Labora people!!!

Do you receive it today? (Joel Osteen)

God bless u all

Just Now...

Just now, I realised why I did not have any feeling (or mood) to do anything, despite all the reading that need to be finished... I have my period!!! Really makes me so tired and clueless...

Just now, I spent my precious time with watching Indonesian VCD 'Gua Kapok Jatuh Cinta'
Not a recommended movie, why? BORING...

Just now, I ate Maltesers and recommend you to eat it when you depressed...

Just now, I had my coffee for the second time... usually it works when you need to do something important such as making assignment or reading sth...

Just now, I screamed to encourage myself to work harder!!!

Just now, I recalled that I have many things to do.. better work on it now...

Just now, I loved myself for being me...

Nonetheless, I am happy God made me for who I am... coz I am special and so do you...

New Wireless Card

The first day I get into my housing in R'dam, I was told that we use a wireless in this house for the internet.

*excited - as finally that old rubbish wireless adaptor can have some utility*

But what??? It turned out to be working for several weeks and then becoming crap stuff.

*yet, I still put my faith on it*

I keep tyring till I fed up, and turn back to cable instead. It works and I am happy.
Yesterday, I tried the old 'unknown-brand' wireless adaptor again in my uni HotSpot! Again, it turned me down!

*I decided to put it on a museum now!*

So this afternoon, I went to MediaMarkt (MM) just after my meeting finished and bought the new wireless card! Gosh!!! I was so confused when I have to choose as they have such terms that I don't even bother to know, but I don't want to buy rubbish good just for the sake of the cheap price. The salesman recommended SITECOM and tt was not as expensive as I thought € 19.99. Excellent....

Talk about gadget, last sunday I checked some website as I was thinking to buy an external HD. One of the cheapest one in town was the 500GB External HD from Western Digital for My Book series! from MM. Unfortunately after checking my account, I hava less than enough to survive for the next 2 months. Today when I come to MM I saw it and really want to bump myself on them!!!

Ok..ok.. I am talking non-sense heh?!? No no... I did have story to tell, but I really have no idea where to start. Many things happened this week, from my bestfriend to my study. This week I have my busy week, but at the same time one of my best friend acting nuts - God knows the reasons. Also, I find myself clueless and lost... somewhere... somehow...

Maybe I should write again later... when my soul got back.

so little time, too much to do...

*collapse*

Moody Mode

Right... I guess my previous posting is definitely gone! (Damn) but the worst case is I don't remember what my blog was about. I think I was about posting a picture, but couldn't find it. Thus, laat maar!!!

Currently,
Temp (T) : 16°C
Time (t) : 23.13 (gosh!!!!)
Location (Loc) : Desk in the living room
Personal Condition (PC) : Very moody (for many reasons)
Solution Approach (SA) : Ice Cream (yes... no matter what!)
Need to be completed (2DO):

• SCM Assignment
  
• SCMS Report - incl. articles reading
  
• CCM 'the narcist' book and its 'holy' assignment.

Personal Diagnosis
I think I am in a bored situation. Well, it is not a common bored because you have nothing to do, but you have way too much to do!!! (Hell yeah). Have you ever experienced where you know you have many things to do, yet no idea where to start (well I do, yet see PC)?

Here is the exact condition:
I am doing my pre-master in Erasmus University Rotterdam - which I am very proud of myself as I manage to get into a 'real' university in this country. I know that this is going to be another heavy year, yet I can not help it if I am advice to be a nerd. Big NO!!! A eh!!! Nee Nee Nee!!!

This week I am have many things to read but waste 2.5 days because of my 'personal period' - usually in this period, I will not as tough as usual and easily fall to sleep because of bodyache and tiredness. Yesterday, I managed to read one article. Still, there is five articles needs to be swallow - which is definitely not an easy task.

Also,

• Weekend is now always 'dating' with Mr. Art(icles).
• No more movies in Pathé!

I really need a good reason and motivation to live like this. Anybody?

(crawling to my desk - looking on the top of it - directly makes me sluggish)

Well, I have to motivate myself people!! No one will do it for me... Cia Yo!!! Aza Aza Fighting!!! Ganbatee!!! (whatelse?!?)

Oh.. two advices from me:

1. eat ice cream - it helps (at least to me :P) and
2. if you have not 'upload' for two days, find some ways as it also helps (trust me!)

Have a good night everyone

Take it All

Searching the world
The lost will be found
In freedom we live
As one we cry out
You carried the cross
You died and rose again

My God I'll only ever give my all

You sent your son
from heaven to earth
You delivered us all
It's eternally heard
I searched for truth
and all I found is you

My God I'll only ever give my all

Reff:

Jesus
We're living for your name
We'll never be ashame of you

(Wo O O)

Our praise and all we are today
Take take take it all
Take take take it all

Be Myself

Kepada para penggemar saya yg setia...

Saya lagi mikir, menimbang2... sekalian memutuskan... kalo semisal sejak posting ini bahasa saya jadi gak karuan, mohon maaf... tapi sebenarnya saya sedang berkampanye untuk menjadi diri sendiri... karena menulis adalah sebuah perenungan dan pengungkapan pribadi... (wah mayan juga bahasa ike)

Semoga masih menikmati...

PaQi (sangat suka dengan nick name ini - thanks to Adolfo!)

Oh.. forgoten that this blog is in english... right here is the translation

(Sorry guys - have not written so long )

To all my royal fans

I am thinking, considering... and as well deciding ... if my next posting becoming weird after this one, please forgive me... I am actually in a campaign for being myself as writing is a private thought and expression (not to bad)

Hope you still enjoy it

PaQi (I like this nick name so much - thanks to Adolfo!)

Public Transportation Strike in Rotterdam

Yeah... they are on strike!

Can you imagine what this issue cause me? I have to walk +- 3 km, which is not that far, but cause me back and shoulderache! Hoooollly Moooowly, what is actually happening? It is again about a better salary and conditions package ahead of privatisation.

I am just wondering what does a day strike effect on the salary or whatever they requested? A day is nothing! RET workers should strike longer to ensure they got what they want and sure public will definitely burn their vehicle!!!

At the night before I did not think it will cause a serious problem... til I woke up late, all the 'best' possible things came out. I just realised that I have no idea about my surrounding pretty well yet, and there is a 50-50 chance that I might get lost still - and time is ticking...

Thank God that I finally arrived - with hunger and desire to kick somebody's a** yet God is good (all the time) I arrive safely. Decided to buy a cola - I was no desire to drink coffee after that long walk, and (gublaaaag!!! gublaaaag!!!) two sorts of cola come out. Original Pepsi cola and Pepsi cola Max. Of course I took both of them (mwuahahahaha)

Thanks to Mr. Ansari (the International Business Strategy's docent) that he did not decide to give us pop quiz! (should have been laying on bed - no no...I love your class sir! Not because you have the same family name as I do, buy I like your class)

After class I and Miki went to the library to finish the RP assignment. Another emotion temptation was Miki changed his mind about the space for the assignment. Good!!! That means I have further way to finish! Took me another 2.5 hour to finish it before 8 PM, and that cause me no pre-E class! Yeah.. great!!! I kind of wanting to come as it is the last session of pre-E! Well, I guess I have to buy the CD to listen anyway...

Both of us went home at 7.45PM and arrive safely (walking in the rain!!!) at 8.30 PM. What a tiring day, yet I learn one thing: I have to practice my writing everyday... A must thing to do!

Well, I'll see u tomorrow!

Ow!!! I will have my first Spanish Class tomorrow!!! Hope it would be nice!!!

Liefd,
PaQi

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?”

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

by Marianne Williamson

A poetry which really reflecting some of us' fear. I myself have been struggling this fear for most of my last few years in my life. I have always afraid of my self, of failure, and of not being able to giving my best in this life. I guess our deepest fear has always been part of our life. We might not realise it, but deep in our heart and mind, we know we are one of this poeple.

To all of you who is struggling in this fear, let us show the lights to those who have not touched by it.

If you love drama and inspiring movies, you need to check out "Akeela and the Bee". It's really a touching movies that really touch a part of me as well on my way back to NL.

will post further next time.

A new life has begun.

Best

Often Happens in Our Daily Life

Just a true story that often happens in our life….

Here is the story…
There is a guy who is damn smart, but undoubtedly super sucks. He is good in his job, but don't know how to appreciate people's efforts - by keep saying bad things about the result for example. On the other hand, he would definitely say no to do these boring and tiring job - that's why he has it delegated.

Now, my points is doesn't he know how to say thank you or at least be grateful that he does not need to do this fu**ing boring job?!? Why can't he teach these people to do in a better way (or just shut up), instead of complaining that the result is not even sufficient or adequate to his standard, but on the other hand he would not like to do it???

Do you see my point?!? These people don’t need to be rewarded by prize, but when he shut his mouth up would definitely helpful!

Sorry guys... I was just so upset because of my colleague.... really want to kick his/ her ass!

REMINDER!!! - to myself

For almost months, I am quite... not in the mood of writing? Well, not really. Just have to write on my dissertation... I really have to kick my ass on it... I want to continue with master, yet I have no courage to write my paper. Today for example, I was thinking to go to Haarlem and afterwards working on my paper. It turns out I woke up very late... and does not have any feeling to go out... my stomach also killing me!

I had some kind of air problem with my stomach!

I had light brunch - two slices of bread with strawberry jam and peanut butter - and watch some tele. A few minutes later, i took my shower and was thinking to go out with Hamster to Haarlem have our clothes washed. Unfortunately, my laziness has overcome our desire. We stayed at home. I went sleep again.

Please... I also can't believe what I did... go back to have some afternoon nap?!?

What a lazy me!!! I wake up and feels hungry and more pain... i decided to take some late lunch and go online... at the end... (actually) until this moment, I am just wasting my time...
So.. what do you want to say?!?

I hate myself if I am useless, but I love myself if I am usefull...

So, please WORK ON YOUR DISSERTATION!

right...

This posting is to make myself aware that i have only 20 days to go to finish my dissertation!!!

Sorry people.. better next time...

In You I TRUST

Before the foundation of the world, it was God's will that Christ should suffer for our salvation.--St. Ambrose, AD 380

The Family Heirloom

My posting this time will discussing about food...
If you like to cook, then you are in the right track :P - hihihihi
This idea has actually come out since last week, but since I have no time for making any posting - even for myself - I postponed it till today....

The only thing I need to mention is that the recipe will be in Indonesian. I am sorry that I cannot produce it in English.. but I am sure most of you understand Indonesian, don't you?
hahaha:P forgive me if you don't - email me then I will help you to translate :D

The recipes that I post in here is actually my mom's recipe. Some people says that usually published recipe from certain person will not taste exactly the same like what you've ever eaten before... but don't worry since my mom is not "Jamie Oliver" - all the recipes taste just like the original. Guaranteed!

You can find the recipe in here.
If you are happy with any of them, please leave your comment... and even if you don't, just leave some... so then I may suggest some improvement.

Ok guys and girls, hope you enjoy it... and have fun!!

Grotjes
Paqita

Almost Collapse

Yes... Almost!!! I guess if I was not rescued in 5 minutes, certainly somebody has to pick me up in the nearest arts (doctor) or hospital...

Well, actually the story behind this scene is FUNNY....

This morning, I woke up at around 9.45 AM. I then went to the loo and pop by Hamster's room. He was still asleep. I joined in his bed as I am sure it is warm. Eventually, I woke up at around 12.45 PM and got my breakfast in bed at exactly 1.15 PM (Hohoho :D - isn't it a lovely Saturday?!?!)

I know it's too detail, but you need this to complete your reading. Trust me!

The next thing we did was actually watching the tele. We watched the Animal Planet.

It has been always the channel that we pick on Saturday

(If you are in NL, try to watch it, it's about home video of the funniest animal)

at least, we found it's always funny

At around 2 PM, we agreed on going to Dirk v.d. Broek (Nearest supermarket in the neighbourhood). At the same time, recalling my experience running to Haarlem NS, I kind of like it and was thinking (at the end also deciding) that running is the cheapest exercise that could me slimmer... (some people called it as jogging - I don't see the difference :P)

I kind of desperately (well not really - I am too exaggerating) trying to lose some weight that I gained through winter!

In the next couple of minute, I am ready with a training suit and ready to exercise! I told Hamster that I am going and we'll meet each other in Dirk.

I was running towards Okta's house area...

As a beginner jogger (is that such term?!?), naturlijk (naturally) you will run for 3 to 4 minutes and walk for a couple of minutes...

Which I am definitely sure it will be longer than the duration when you were running :D

After that couple of minutes, then I start to run again.. and then take a break again... this happens for about three times. The fourth times, I was feeling so sick that I can not even walk as I got my stomach ache - It's not the kind of stomachache that you got because of running, but it was more the one that asking for a toilet (get it?!?)

I was sitting on the bench of somebody's house for the next 2 minutes, but then I found that the seabreeze was kind of hard and extremely cold... I was getting even more sick. I walked a little bit further to the corner and turned to the the right street. I am sort of flying...

So the feeling of sick and stomach ache made me kind of hard to walk and want to puke. Eventually, I came to the point where I didn't have any power to walk nor even to crawl. I sat on people's fence - but it's not really a fence as it was not made from a wood - It was a brick fence... what do you call that in English?!?

Well.. I will name it a brick fence - mean a fence made from brick :P

I sat that for 1 minute and tried to walk for a few meters (very few!!), but still I can't... my legs felt so weak, and my stomach kept killing me... I then sat on the second brick fence, and think what I am supposed to do... There came one German couple and the man asked if I am alright as I was kind of muzzy. I said (honestly) that I need a toilet.

Hamster was actually calling me

I told him that I am in the neighbourhood, and ask him to fetch me there

This German guy try to help me with knocking people's house but unfortunately there was no answer. I was starting to feel even more dizzy and my sight was getting blur, white shadow in each corner of my view - It's just like a camera that was not focused - and at the second call from Hamster, I was not able to see anything... I am totally blackout, but lucky me that I was still able to hear and speak! Hamster eventually found me. The German guy was actually very concerned about me as he was making sure that Hamster was my friend

I am really thankfull to you German guy -even I dunno who you are

We were trying to walk home... but I was not even able to walk. After that German couple left, there was another Dutch couple who just arrived and park their car nearby. I walked to the lady and was asking if I can borrow her toilets. She was very helpful and was helping to get into her relatives house. Her husband was there as well and ask what was wrong and how's everything happened? I knew that actually I really need the toilet because of poopoo, but another reason why I got blackout is because I have not got any exercise that long and was sick as I just got my meal at 1 PM when I decided to run at 2.30 PM. The Dutch man suggest us to go to Arts or hospital to have some check up as he though that I might suffer from appendicitis (usus buntu).

Hamster was actually laughing in his mind

as he knew that I was actually really need the toilet because of poopoo

After a couple of minutes in the toilet, I was getting my consciousness back. My sight recovered and I am fully aware of what has happened. I thank the Dutch couple and went back home!

So!!! You see how funny is this??? I am trying to get some exercise, but at the end I put myself into trouble. Lucky me that there is a German and Dutch couple that was in the neighbourhood; otherwise, I may be found in the hospital...

Lesson to learn if you are a beginner jogger like me:

• No exercise after eating at least for 2 hours. Here is some advices that I found in the net
• Make sure you bring your mobile with you
• Bring some cash
• Be in the crowded neighbourhood - in case you are collapse it's easy to be noticed

With all this "incident", I think I will try another exercise such as swimming or maybe doing some crunch.... at least swimming does not make you collapse - as long as you have some warm-up and crunch is only be done at home. Hehehe.. anyway.. does not really matters what you do, just make sure you have your poopoo and not eating for the last two hours before your work-out.

Good luck!

Ah... I am having backache now... gotta sleep now!

Ciao